Ask the coach: On law of Attraction and finding Mr. Right

Lina asks “Hi, I am wondering why I haven’t yet found my Mr. Right, I have been reading about the law of attraction lately, and it sounds like all you really have to do is dream”

Coach replies:

The basic concept behind the universal law of attraction is that “like attracts like”. If this was true, why is it that we do not get what we ask/pray for?

It is because we are only conscious of about 20% of our thoughts, and are mostly oblivious to what is going on in the remaining 80% . As a start we need to become conscious of what we deeply believe around a certain area in our life before we are able to work on changing the results we are getting there.

One of the exercises you can use is the following:

Write down a detailed description of Mr. Right (or use pictures, record a vocal description) , use the following questions to help you:
-What is it exactly that you want from the man of your dreams
-What role/roles do you want him to play in your life
-What would he add to your life that is not currently there
-What do you enjoy doing with him
-How do you want to feel when you are around him
-How are you feeling now, what feelings surface while you are writing this (sadness, loneliness?)
-What thoughts are surfacing while you right this (its not possible, I will never find him)

Try to get as much detail as possible. Allow at least 20 minutes everyday for this day dreaming, continue for a few days.

Analyze your notes in the following way:
-I want to feel (e.g. loved, held…)
-He will give me (e.g. security, independence…)
-I now feel (e.g. lonely, sad…)

note the variance between how you feel now and how you want to feel, notice that the emotions may be opposite to those you want to attract.

Action:
Focus on transforming one emotion at a time.
E.g. What is the opposite of Loneliness (for you, it could be security or joy…), start focusing on this new emotion, security for example (through affirmations, through also noticing when and where you are feeling the loneliness, looking for different ways you can bring security into your life right now…)
You will need to give yourself this new emotion you are looking for before some else can bring it into your life, or else, you will still feel this “lack” even if you meet your Mr. Right. Good luck… and let me know if you need further personalized work on this.

 

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